The last paragraph of Hearn Christopher’s article is all you need to know,

Playboy Playmate alert: For those who’ve dreamed of baring it all in the pages of Playboy, your ship may be about to come in.The bunny mag will be at the Hyatt Regency Crown Center from noon to 6 p.m. Thursday and from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Friday, recruiting women for “consideration as Playmates, Cyber Girls and Playboy Special Editions models.”You must be at least 18 and bring two forms of ID as proof.

This will be the greatest congregation of hot chicks this week in the Midwest and some (most) of these sluts will get rejected and thusly will be in need of consoling. (Am I wrong?) That is where I, THE D, comes in; the plan is too take this Thursday and Friday off from work go down to the Hyatt with a cooler full of about 5 cases of Bud Light, my lawn chair, binoculars and camp out front of the Hyatt and watch the hottys parade begin! I am going to sit there taking pictures with my cell phone, shouting vulgar and inappropriate comments to all of the girls. Shot gunning Bud Lights until 1 of 3 things happen 1) I get arrested and hauled off to pound me in the ass Jackson county jail. 2) A gaggle of hotties will beat the shit out of me while I am wasted. 3) I will get some sweet pity sex.

I am going to wear my size 32” Levis Jean shorts, with the pants rolled up (I am about a 38” now so they will be really tight) Kansas City chicks like to see the goods up front, if you know what I am saying, or I may just wear my spandex shorts and my orange Wisconsin tee shirt (it says “Wisconsin come smell our Dairy Air”) and my Chuck Taylor’s tennis shoes with tube socks pulled all the way over my knee (I call that out fit “old reliable” because it has never failed me, I get more ass than a warden handing out pardons at a women’s prison whenever I wear it. By the way all of the items are about 10-15 years old so they may smell like your grandmas house.

Who is with me? It is going to be AWESOME! Females are welcome too, lez-bos need love too!