Xavier Onassis is often been asked, “What do you old grumpy bastards like you do now that you’re retired?”

Well, Xavier Onassis answered, I have a friend who hangs out with me. He has a chemical engineering background and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, bourbon, tequila, and martinis into urine.

And, we’re pretty damn good at it.

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Bull E. Vard and Chimpotle were having a beer at the neighborhood bar.
“What’s the matter?” asked Chimpote of his buddy. “You look kind of down.”
“My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a new bulletin.” replied, Bull E. Vard
“Why’s that?”questioned Chimpotle
“Because it’s brief, unexpected and usually a disaster.”