HI!! Just wanted to start by saying I’m very, very sorry, for not getting the chance to get a real post in the last few weeks. And I mean that from the heart of my bottom. Shits been crazy, YO!

So how was everyones St. Pats day? Mine was exceptionally great. I got bit twice and slapped once. It it was a good time. The first bite came when one of the younger bartenders at Kelly’s came out from the back tossing free tee shirts to us (we were all standing at the front bar in the corner nearest the front door), I caught one side of the tee shirt and my pal Hammer, or HAMMA, as I like to call her. Caught the other side. I yell “DIBBS” which everyone knows, that when you call DIBBS!it means that the tee shirt is mine. So she should get her stinkin’ mitts off of it, right? RIGHT! Although, she did grew up in here in Kansas City she doesn’t live here now, but that is no excuse for not knowing the Rule of DIBBS.

She started yanking on the shirt, and I kept yanking back. Cuz, that shit was going to be mine and I wasn’t going to give it up for nuttin’. Telling her that I called DIBBS. She then pulled the tee shirt and my left hand to her mouth and BIT my thumb! And she hit it HARD. Hard enough to leave a dental impression on my thumb. I yell “HEY CHOMPERS!! What the FUCK?” I’m calling Catherine Willows!” “It’s my shirt! FUCKER!” She yelled with her fake southern accent. With my thumb in pain I let it go. But continued to scold her about the Rule of DIBBS.

The second time was even worse. I was just standing there minding my own beeswax taking to my friends Pam and Scott when all of the sudden I hear some one calling my name “The D” I guess I wasn’t fast enough for her, cause next thing I knew she is taking a bite out of my right triceps muscle. I turn around and I’m all “WFT? LADY? For realz? Did you just bite me again? Why do you keep doing that!” She says, “Next time I call you, you get your ass over here!” Then we started arguing about who is the boss of who. I pulled out the “This is my town and your just visiting, so watch your manners or Ill have you kicked out of town line. Then she said something that trumped that so I just shut up. Oh, and all she wanted to do was give me a shot of Jamesons.

I do have to remind everyone that by this point we had already had about 6, or at least her Dad, Burt and I already had 6 shot of Jamesons, not to mention a dozen or so jell-o shots, plus the beer we were all drinking. So we were all pretty lit up.

So a few min later or maybe it was a few hours I don’t know. I was over talking to a couple of running pals of mine and my phone rings. I check it out and its HAMMA! calling. I tell my pals to hang on I’ll be right back. HAMMA! is now at a bar stool sitting with a friend of hers who I don’t know. I walk up and shout (the place was pretty crowded so you had to shout) Why are you calling me I’m right over there! *SLAP* right across my face. “HEY!! SRLSY!! LADY, STOP ACCOSTING ME! First you bite me then you bite me again. FOR No fucking reason.” She tell me to shut up. Then she tells me that she was sorry for slapping me (but not for biting me, mind you) and that she need to tell me that Burt, her Dad, and Loni her step mom, were leaving and Burt said it was my job to make sure she got back to their place in one piece. Great, I thought, I have to baby sit a 29 years old (she obviously doesn’t need a sitter). Like that couldn’t have waited 10 min when I was finished talking to my running pals. Jeez.

Then some time later we went up to the Record Bar, had some more drinks and went home I dropped her off at her parents house and went home. I was zonked out in bed my 1:30.

Good time I tells ya! Good times!

I do have some pics but none that don’t show part of my nekked body. And none of you want to see.