Think of the worst thing that could ever happen to you and multiply that by a kabillion.

That’s what happened to me last night.

It totes changes everything in my life from this point forward.

You know how you have a favorite thing? I mean, it’s just the best thing ever, and you never make plans if something should happen to that thing because you expect it to be there every year, year after year. You never plan for the “what if”.

Today the what if came.

Both of zippers from my Columbia parka have broken and it makes the coat TOTALLY UNWEARABLE!!!!

LOOK, LOOK AT IT!!

The one above is the outer shell you can see the zipper on the left, the one that goes up, doesn’t have handle TOTALLY USELESS.

Then is one happened today!!!!

This is the fleece liner that can also be worn as it’s own jacket. The zipper on it is broken too. The handle is broken and the zipper has some kind of mechanism that holds the zipper up so it wont unzip. So unless I can get this zipper to unzip then I can’t attach it to the outer shell and wear both the fleece inner liner and the outer shell together as one kick-ass coat.

If you think I’m going to wear each one as separate coat then you’re fuckin’ nuts. I’m not some homeless, unemployed, degenerate from Independence Missouri.

I’ve had this coat for like, 8-10 years, it’s my favorite coat and now it’s RUINED FOREVER!!!

So its dead to me.

So sick of this, you guys. I hate everything.