Monday night, after the meeting with the Cool Kids, where we discussed our plans for taking over the local media and politics in K.C. (There’s a lot to plan out for world domination, yo.

Anyway, I get home and low and behold I FINALLY got my stimulus, (stimuli?) check, a whole 600 clams. I was really surprised they didn’t deduct and FICA or SS from it. Now, I just have to figure out what to do with it. Back in May when I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE FUCKING THING!! I had plenty of stuff that I would have done with the money. But now I’m more inclined to put into my saving instead of spending it on random stuff.

But then again maybe I’ll just blow it on one of these:

Here are the top 10 things that I might do with my stimulus (stimuli?) check.

10. Get the EVAP system on my car fixed.

9. Four brand spankin’ new snow tires. With white walls of course!.

8. Get the outside of the house painted. I’m thinking camouflage, so no one will ever find it. Because I’m a master of the Camo and Flage.

7. Redo the bathroom. So I don’t have to clean it. (like I clean it now any way.)

6. Take the whole check to one of them gamblin’ boats they have on the river and bet it all on BLACK!

5. Buy a gun and steal other people’s stimulus (stimuli?) checks and take those to the boats and bet it all on RED!

4. Send it all into the credit card companies, to pay some of that balance down.

3. Devise a plan to get back at those neighborhood kids who put shit in a bag and lit it on fire on my porch while I was under house arrest for punching my Spanish teacher, after he asked me “How my father would feel if I failed Spanish” unknowing that my father was killed in a car accident while I was driving. After, I uncover a serial killer living next door to me, while I watch the other neighbors from inside my house while on house arrest for the summer. But after I bump ugliest with the new hottie that just moved in next door. Oh yea, I also saved my mother from the serial killer. Wait a tick… That sounds a lot like the movie Disturbia… Skip it, it sucks.

2. Request a meeting with Fuck-Face Funkhouser and convince him that there are more important issues than those stupid-ass steel plates on the road. Like the fact that there is no bus stop, where I thought there was a bus stop, which I waited for over an hour for the bus before I realized I was not at a FUCKING bus stop!! And that there is no bus that runs from 43^rd and Stateline Road all the way down Stateline Road to 435 which is about where I want to get to for my employment. Hold on, this one wouldn’t cost me any thing.

2. New clothes that fit me or that at least don’t look old.

And the # 1 thing I should spend my Tax stimulus (stimuli?) check on…

1. Hookers and crack, what else!