I found this disgusting creature on my garage door when I went out to cut the grass today.
I don’t know what it is.
Look at the size of that mama-jama! That’s my right hand, to give you an idea of it’s enormity.
Is my house being invaded? Should I be alarmed? Should I call some one? Who should I call? Bug busters or NASA, or maybe the CDC?
I think it might be some sort of cocoon or hibernation vehicle for space travel. How long have they been stuck to my garage door? A week, a day? Why was the lock on my garage unlocked? How did they get it unlocked without the key? Are they super intelligent? They would have to be if they came here from outer space, right?
There were actually 2 of them stuck to the garage door. Which may mean there might be a hive somewhere.
Look at its ugly face. LOOK AT IT! Why is it so ugly?
Do you think they’re some sort of creature that arrived here via space travel? Should I start looking for pods? What if the neighbors start acting strange? Will I have to start shooting people in the face to rid the world of some sort of emotionless clone? Will I have to start staying awake for weeks at a time so I’m not cloned? Are we going to become an emotionless society because I didn’t hut down and destroy these creatures?
Are they going to return to these space vehicles once they are finished infesting all of us? Should I destroy these things? What do I do?
WHAT THE FUCK IS IT???
10 responses so far ↓
1 JeffO // Aug 24, 2008 at 9:13 pm
Cicada skin after a molt.
Find them stuck to trees all over this time of year.
2 meesha.v // Aug 24, 2008 at 9:46 pm
try kissing it,maybe it will turn into a beautiful princess
3 Average Jane // Aug 24, 2008 at 11:28 pm
It’s a cicada or “June bug” skin. When I was a kid, we used to go around collecting all the skins we could find. This is a big cicada year - you should be able to hear them when you go outside.
4 Moxie Mama // Aug 25, 2008 at 8:31 am
It’s a cicada shell left over from molting. Don’t feel bad about freaking out. I was scared shitless of these things when I was a kid. I won’t even touch one now. Creepy, aren’t they?
5 SmedRock // Aug 25, 2008 at 9:39 am
You have tiny hands. Just sayin’…
6 Nightmare // Aug 25, 2008 at 8:28 pm
Seriously? Where are you from? And sorry Jane, June Bugs are completely different and don’t molt.
But c’mon I have been picking them up since I was old enough to walk, but we always called them locusts, and those things most people call locusts we called grasshoppers…no idea why.
7 The D // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Jeff O - You’re correct.
Meesha- Why don’t I make some kind of disgusting Russian soup out of it.
Jane- Cicada’s and June bugs are 2 different bugs. But bugs nonetheless!
Moxie-Yes creepy! All bugs are, but I’m not afraid to squish them.
Smed- I just wish the women I’m with had small hands.
Night-Locust and Cicadas are 2 different bugs. The confusion comes from the bible and the plaques.
8 meesha.v // Aug 25, 2008 at 10:53 pm
go ahead, make my day
9 midtown miscreant // Aug 26, 2008 at 9:06 am
We always called them locusts as well, not sure why. If I recall correctly the live below ground for 7 years?
Now what is the one pet peeve you have Mr. D, that someone needs to tell me about? Read your comment on Mays blog, so I want to make it mo betta for ya.
10 meesha.v // Aug 26, 2008 at 10:42 am
MM-he means that if a person is using a Google (or other) feed reader they can only see the first few lines of your post and then they have to click on your site to see the rest. people do it if they run ads on their site so they want visitors to go to their site to get clicks. blogger is blocked at my work but google reader is not. unless you intended for this to happen it can be easily fixed.
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