I went over to C-boy’s house for the annual Family Fun Time. The SIS and her family couldn’t make it for what ever reason I don’t know. The best part of the afternoon was the conversation I had with mom.

My cousin is getting married in April. I plan to attend, as do the rest of the family. I still haven’t sent in my R.S.V.P. yet. Which reminds me that I probably should, tomorrow. I’m also reminded that I have to buy a new suit for the occasion. Because I’ve lost 85 pounds just in case you forgot.

So mom tells me that my Uncle called specifically to pass this message on to me. Are you ready for it?

He told her to tell me that “There will be a lot of loose women at the wedding”.

I don’t know what his definition of loose women is or what my mom thinks it is. But my definition of loose women makes this all kinds of creepy. When I hear the term “loose women” I think I need to pick up a gross of condoms, because I’ll surly be using all of them! And some rope to tether myself to the bed post.

What do they think? Just because I’m not dating anyone doesn’t mean I’m not gettin’ any. Aren’t we all familiar with the terms “fuck buddy” and “friends with benefits?” I think we all are. Besides if I wanted to hang out with loose women I’d just go to the Brooksider anytime The Zeros are playing.

Furthermore, I was actually planning on bringing a date to this shindig, someone that already knows my family so we wouldn’t get all the lame and awkward questions.

But not now!

I’m going to whore it up with the loose women!

W00T! W00T!