That’s a steal, yo!

I got out of there buying 200 greenbacks worth of clothes but only spent $75. Thanks to moms Christmas gift from J.C.Penny’s. I snagged 3 pairs of Dockers and enough shirts for a weeks worth of work clothes. I totally killed it. Each shirt matches at least 2 of the pairs of slacks.

Total shopping time, from when I left the car to when I returned to the car, 25 min. That my friends is the diff between men and women. Women shop, men buy.

Did I say I TOTES KILLED IT? Cuz I totes did, yo!

All of the extra time I had left was spent in Overland Park traffic.

My cousin is getting married in April. I plan to attend, as do the rest of the family. I still haven’t sent in my R.S.V.P. yet. Which reminds me that I probably should, tomorrow. I’m also reminded that I have to buy a new suit for the occasion. Because I’ve lost 85 pounds just in case you forgot.

So mom tells me that my Uncle called specifically to pass this message on to me. Are you ready for it?

He told her to tell me that “There will be a lot of loose women at the wedding”.

I don’t know what his definition of loose women is or what my mom thinks it is. But my definition of loose women makes this all kinds of creepy. When I hear the term “loose women” I think I need to pick up a gross of condoms, because I’ll surly be using all of them! And some rope to tether myself to the bed post.

What do they think? Just because I’m not dating anyone doesn’t mean I’m not gettin’ any. Aren’t we all familiar with the terms “fuck buddy” and “friends with benefits?” I think we all are. Besides if I wanted to hang out with loose women I’d just go to the Brooksider anytime The Zeros are playing.

Furthermore, I was actually planning on bringing a date to this shindig, someone that already knows my family so we wouldn’t get all the lame and awkward questions.

But not now!

I’m going to whore it up with the loose women!

W00T! W00T!

Lets start the recap with a list of all the bounty that I took home from Christmas Eve at moms:

1. Gift Cards from Itunes and JCPenny’s.

End of list.

That’s a pretty short list huh? But it’s exactly what I wanted. I told everyone too pool their money and get me one gift card from a list of stores that I gave them. They choose JCPenny’s which I’m totally cool with, I told them to get me one gift card because I need a whole new wardrobe after losing 85 pounds. I figure it’s much easier to spend a few hundred bucks at one store on clothes than it is to spend 50 at one store, and 50 at another.

I took a butt load of pics and I’m having a hard time choosing which ones to post of the kids (I don’t post pics of the adults.)

More later…