I was just wondering when the fuck is someone going to begin working on the only true super hero movie.

AQUAMAN

Y’all better start recognizin’ Aquaman or yo, ass is gonna get eatin’ by a tuna, and shit.

Saturday I finally fixed my leaky toilet. The valve that shuts off when the floaty thingy floats wasn’t shutting off when the water filled the tank. I replaced the whole mechanize with a new one. It only took me a hour, which includes the drive to the Ace Hardware in Westport.

After that I bolted over to Toys R Us near Oak park Mall to get the kids their b-day gifts. A few years ago Nicole yelled at me for not putting tissue paper in the bag that I put their presents in. (I quit wrapping gifts a few years ago once I learned that I can just put them in a nice decorative bag. Who knew?) But I didn’t pay too much attention to the bag that I bought her. It was a baby bag that had pictures of baby stuff on it, like baby shoes, baby bottle, and a baby bib. I just saw that it was pink and thought it would be alright. Well, she wasn’t too happy about it and asked me a couple of times why I bought a baby bag. I just told her that I was in a hurry and didn’t pay attention. She just turned 9 btw.

Zach, on the other hand, opened his Star Wars plane thing, set it aside and went straight to his new truck.

While I was at Target on Saturday, picking up the tissue paper. I stroll thought the watches wanting to pick up a cheap Ironman watch for my runs, my last one just up and quite working after about 4 years. I spot a heart rate monitor just sitting my it’s self. The tag on it says 50 BUCKS! I check out the functions and it has everything that I wanted on it. The only draw back is that it has a strap that you have to wear around your chest in order to get a heart beat. So I guess I’ll have to wear a stupid strap. But that is really not that big of a deal. I spent Saturday night setting it up. As along as the strap doesn’t bother me when I run then I’ll be good with it.

Sunday I was going to get up early and mow the lawn, so I could beat the heat, but that just didn’t happen. I finally got around to doing it about noon. Which I pretty sure is the hottest part of the day. So that was a good idea.

After doing that I went down to the local movie plex and saw The Dark Knight. Its a pretty good move you should see it if you like big explosions and lots of action. but don’t let your kid see it. Harvey Dent gets a pretty nasty make over when he becomes Two Face. I don’t think any amount of Proactive is gonna fix his face. YIKES!!

I also realized, during the movie, that I might need to get my hearing checked, for some reason I had a hard time understanding Christian Bale when he was in a scene as Batman, anyone else?

As I was woofing down hand fulls of popcorn at the movie I had this thought “Popcorn is a lot like snow flakes, no two are the same.” Have you even found two pop corn kernels that popped exactly the same?

Ya’ll have a nice week.

Anyway, I get home and low and behold I FINALLY got my stimulus, (stimuli?) check, a whole 600 clams. I was really surprised they didn’t deduct and FICA or SS from it. Now, I just have to figure out what to do with it. Back in May when I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE FUCKING THING!! I had plenty of stuff that I would have done with the money. But now I’m more inclined to put into my saving instead of spending it on random stuff.

But then again maybe I’ll just blow it on one of these:

Here are the top 10 things that I might do with my stimulus (stimuli?) check.

10. Get the EVAP system on my car fixed.

9. Four brand spankin’ new snow tires. With white walls of course!.

8. Get the outside of the house painted. I’m thinking camouflage, so no one will ever find it. Because I’m a master of the Camo and Flage.

7. Redo the bathroom. So I don’t have to clean it. (like I clean it now any way.)

6. Take the whole check to one of them gamblin’ boats they have on the river and bet it all on BLACK!

5. Buy a gun and steal other people’s stimulus (stimuli?) checks and take those to the boats and bet it all on RED!

4. Send it all into the credit card companies, to pay some of that balance down.

3. Devise a plan to get back at those neighborhood kids who put shit in a bag and lit it on fire on my porch while I was under house arrest for punching my Spanish teacher, after he asked me “How my father would feel if I failed Spanish” unknowing that my father was killed in a car accident while I was driving. After, I uncover a serial killer living next door to me, while I watch the other neighbors from inside my house while on house arrest for the summer. But after I bump ugliest with the new hottie that just moved in next door. Oh yea, I also saved my mother from the serial killer. Wait a tick… That sounds a lot like the movie Disturbia… Skip it, it sucks.

2. Request a meeting with Fuck-Face Funkhouser and convince him that there are more important issues than those stupid-ass steel plates on the road. Like the fact that there is no bus stop, where I thought there was a bus stop, which I waited for over an hour for the bus before I realized I was not at a FUCKING bus stop!! And that there is no bus that runs from 43^rd and Stateline Road all the way down Stateline Road to 435 which is about where I want to get to for my employment. Hold on, this one wouldn’t cost me any thing.

2. New clothes that fit me or that at least don’t look old.

And the # 1 thing I should spend my Tax stimulus (stimuli?) check on…

1. Hookers and crack, what else!