First up Twitters.

1. No one cares FUCKING cares who the fuck you followed first or who the FUCK was your first GAWD DAM follower.
2. Twitter Groups are the LAMEST FUCKING GROUPS ON EARTH. They’re even lamer than most Face book groups. (The groups that I’m in on Face book are the fucking coolest, they’re the bomb.com.)
3. People that post your twitter post to your Face book status, and your fucking brightlite status. Not only are you forcing me to read your stupid tweets once but I have to read them again on Face book.  No one fucking cares where the fuck you’re twittering from, so knock it the fuck off!

Read the rest of the annoying Twitter shit that shitty people do on Shea’s post. I’m too pissed off to list the same items. But just know that I agree with her 100%

While were on the subject of Face book. I hate you motherfuckers that set up a face book page and NEVER EVER put anything in your status. You might as well just put, Mitch Cumstine “is a FUCKING DOUCHE BAG!” If you have a face book profile you need to know that the rule for updating your status is that you need one every 24-48 hours. Or don’t fucking set one a fucking profile! Setting up a page just because all the “cool kids” (i.e. The D) are doing it is fucking LAME! If all the cool kids were punching themselves in the face at the top every hour would you do it? You probably would because you’re an annoying little bitch! It’s a fucking social network dumb-shit! BE SOCIAL!!

Second, Christmas decorations.

They come down on New Years Day NO EXCEPTIONS! I don’t give a FLYIN’ FUCK if you have the worst hangover known to mankind. Get your lazy alcoholic ass off the FUCKING couch and take those MOTHER-FUCKING things down! NOW! The FUCKIN’ season is over! And don’t give me any BULLSHIT about not taking them down until the Epiphany. The lights on the outside of your dilapidated house don’t have shit to do with any GAWD DAM religion. I don’t fucking care what your pastor, Ned Flanders says, TAKE THOSE FUCKING THINGS DOWN! FYI, If your pastor is Ned Flanders, then your a fucking devil worshiper, Ned is left handed and we all know left handed people are the devils soldiers, and so are fuckin’ cats. If you want to leave the stuff up on the INSIDE of your housr by all means knock yourself out, but I dont want to see that shit until November.

And that goes for you fuckin’ jerk-offs on the Plaza! You’re the motherfucking worst offenders.

The next victims are people that can’t check a box on a mother-fucking RSVP card. Seriously how fuckin’ hard is it for you to check a box? Are you FUCKING coming or not? You put your stupid ass hippie name on the stupid thing, why can’t you check a GAWD DAM BOX! Seriously? Is it that FUCKIN’ hard? Cause we can always just let the fucking Club die after 88 fuckin’ years you know. People are fucking LAZY!

HEY, Mr/Mrs. Fucking Pretentious, can you please try to remind everyone that you live on the FUCKIN’ Plaza in EVERY FUCKIN’ TWEET instead of every other tweet. NO ONE CARES WHERE YOU LIVE, DICK FACE!! We laugh at you because you paid WAAAAY to much for little shit hole of a condo. I could have bought twice the size and spent half as much just by moving 4 blocks to the west. You’re a fucking MORON, AND A PRICK!

People that censor their cuss words like F$%k, and Sh!T. You’re an adult, talk like one. If you don’t want to cuss then don’t. It’s your choice, but don’t make me decipher your post or tweets like I’m a fuckin’ enigma machine. I don’t spell out Gawd because taking the Lords name in vane is a fucking sin. I’m not the one going to fuckin’ hell. YOU ARE, ya fuckin dick face.

And finally, you little bitches that wear your baseball hats backwards. What the fuck are you thinking? Well, you’re obviously not thinking are you? The BILL GOES IN THE FUCKING FRONT! You look like a fucking DOUCHE BAG! I should create a blog titled Douche Bags with their Hats on Backwards.com I’d only post picks of jerk-offs like you that wear your hats backwards. You make me want to punch you in your stupid FUCKING DICKFACE FACE.

If you have grievances of your own, now is your fucking chance, Hot Shit.

Dump them in the comments.

Many people, including me have written rules about bathroom etiquette. Well, it’s about time we had an Elevator Etiquette, or Rules for the Elevator.

1. When you walk up to the call buttons and the direction you want to go is already pushed then don’t push it again, you jerk-off.

2. If none of the call buttons are pushed then press your button only once. Rapidly pushing the button DOES NOT make the elevator move any faster. It just makes you look like an impatient Jerk wad.

3. When the elevator doors open and there are people that want to get off, they have the right of way let them off first. Before you bum rush the elevator. What? Are you trying to get the best seat at a fuckin’ movie theater? Slow down, have some patience, the car will still be there, even if 50 midgets get off when you want on.

4. If you get to the elevator and the doors are just closing. DO NOT press the call button. There will be another car in a few minuets. If you’re in that much of a rush to get to wherever you’re going then you should have left earlier.

5. Holding the elevator should only be done for hot chicks/guys. Nuff said. You know it, I know it, she knows it, he knows it, I just had the balls to say it.

6. If you’re the last one on and closest to the floor buttons then its your duty as the “driver” to ensure the every one has the opportunity to call out which floor they want to stop at and its your responsibility to push the correct buttons. If you fail in this task then its obvious that you’re too stupid to have job in a building. This also allows all of the other occupants the opportunity to punch you in your taint on their way out of the elevator be cause your a dip-shit.

7. When you finally get a chance to board the elevator walk all the way to the back. Turn and face the doors the you entered from. If, in your journey to your floor, the car stops and it’s not your floor, then move all the way back but do NOT crowd the person behind you. If you can feel their tits, or belly or boner. Then your too fucking close move the fuck up. Or you’ll get pregnant or ass fucked. But if that’s what your looking for have at it don’t let me stop you.

8. Pay attention to what floor the car stops on. If you get off on the wrong floor then I hope you have fun looking like a douche bag while trying to get back in a crowded elevator.

9. DO NOT under any circumstances press the emergency stop button. It will scare the shit out of the other passengers and will result in you getting gang banged, or having your briefcase shoved up your ass. Seriously, if you do stop the car, while I’m in it, because you think it’s funny, I will break you in half like a fucking twig.

10. This is the most important. If you are going either up or down one floor then TAKE THE FUCKING STAIRS!!!! Are you that lazy that you can’t walk 15 feet to the stairs to walk up or down one flight of stairs? Are you fucking kidding me? There are few things in this world that annoy me more than someone getting on the elevator and going one fucking floor. I just want to punch you in the face and eat your babies. If your healthy there is no reason for you to do be riding an elevator for a trip that last one floor. The amount of time that you spend waiting on the car you could have already been to where ever your going. I work in a 6 story office building (4 office floors, 2 parking floors) I always park on the 2nd level (lowest) I work on the 2nd floor. We’ve been in that building for a year and a half, I’ve NEVER EVEN BEEN ON THE ELEVATOR!! I always take the stairs!

I think 10 is enough if you think some should be added, let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading!