Last week I was banished to the age of pre-internet. I don’t know why or how it happen but my Digital Subscriber Line (that’s what DSL means to you lay people) to my house went out last Wednesday sometime during the hours of 12:38 pm. and 8:17 pm. I know it went out sometime between those times because I went back to work at 12:38 pm from having lunch at home, and 8:17 was the time I was sitting down to write my review to Tuesdays LOST from my laptop.

This has happen before so I just thought a reboot of the router, the wireless router, and the computers would fix it.

No dice, Chico!

So then I picked up the cordless phone to call AT&T support. “DANG DIGGITY DOO!!” I thought, no dial-tone. Then I thought that the bushes had grown around the box that is attached to the side of the house. It was already dark so I left it alone until the next night. Went out the next night and checked the box. It was perfectly fine.

On Friday I called AT&T from my cell to set up a service call. They wouldn’t send out a repair tech until Monday.

GOSH DANG DIGGITY DOO FOO!!

So the guy gets out here today and checks the box on the side of the house. He tells me that the problem is up in the box that is attached to the pole in the back yard. So he goes and gets his ladder off his truck and spends about 20–30 min messing around with the circuits, or whatever is in that box. Comes back to the front door and has me check the phone and internet.

HAZZAH!!! Fixed. So I’m now reconnected back to the world! Lucky you.

Even though I do have an iphone and can do just about everything on it that I can do on this laptop it’s still a pain to type on the cell phone. Unless you’re typing short drunken text messages. (Lets face it, the only good text message are the drunk text messages, am I riiiiight!?)

So that is why you didn’t get any Lost recap to last week’s episode. But it’s not like you don’t read 18 other recaps, anyway.

                          

How many pieces I should cut this pizza into without looking like a total douche bag.

So, I put out the question to the twitterverse. How many slices do you cut your frozen pizza on too?

I got a some interesting and unexpected responses. One of which I didn’t even think was legal to do in this country. was cutting it in to 6 slices. Which I think is total crap, who cuts a pizza like that? I’m sorry but that is just CRAZY talk. You always, ALWAYS, cut the slices in half. The first cut gives you 2 halves, the 2nd and 3rd cuts give you 4 slices, and the 4th and 5th cuts gives you 8 slices. The only way to get 6 slices of pizza out of a pizza (unless its a square pizza, and if you eat square pizzas just stop reading now and punch yourself in the face) is to have your first cut not go all the way though the pizza. WHO DOES THAT?!? It’s un-American that’s what it is!

So I ask you, my fellow Americans, when you cut a pizza at home, how many slices do you end up with?

I ended up with 8 but I usually go with I my 4 slices. But next time I’m going with the Pizzarito. And the next time will most likely be about 2 or 3 am on Saturday night.

                          

They should rename that channel to The SCARE THE SHIT OUT IF YOU CHANNEL!!

In this episode of River Monsters this crazy dude goes on the hunt for flesh eating catfish. But here is the really scary part.

Watch this!

(Some jerk face turned off the embed option. So I cant put it here.)

What you don’t see in the video is that they actually track down the dude that this happened to!!

Then they went on to talk about some man eating catfish that are about 9 feet long!   That’s not the actual pic but you get the idea of its size from that pic.

What was REALLY messed up they went on to show a pic of a catfish that eat a man and still had his lower torso and legs still sticking out of its mouth. It was completely horrifying!

The good news is that all of this happened in the Amazon. I have already made a mental note to NEVER even get close to any river any where near the Amazon.

I’m sure to have nightmares tonight.