The SIS has finally starting to join the digital age.

She just sent me (and the rest of the fam) an evite to her kids (Nicole and Zach) b-day party.

My reply?

“Are there going to be any drunk single chicks at this party?”

Her reply?

“no drunk chicks at the party. This is a rated “G” party.”

 Someone didn’t get the memo about me being HILARIOUS!! 

Here are a couple of videos I shot with my camera tonight. They are pretty boring but you can see how much rain and hail I got tonight.

Enjoy!

This one a video of the hail hitting the roof of my car while sitting in my drive way. And the crappy shape of the neighbors roof. Notice the down spout not even being utilized. And they just had them cleaned out last week! Dummies.

The strangest thing is that it wasn’t Thursday when this all happend.

Should that be Weight-in, or what? It doesn’t look right.

I should rename this post “worst post ever”

Anyway, the weight in was complete shit. Looks like I’m going to have to go back to having soup for lunch, now. I’m up, yep I said UP, to 211 pounds from 208 3/4 back around the first part of June. Of course not working out every day and eating shit, like a whole large Waldo Pizza (thin crust), ice cream, and any other crap I could get my chubby little digests on and shove in to my mouth, will do that to ya.

So lets talk about the new widget over on the right side. They are from a web site called Buckeye Outdoors Which to me sounds like a hunting web site. I found it while trolling some running blogs a few weeks back. It seams like a pretty good site the best part is its free so I went all in. I’m going to use it to keep track of my work outs, and diet. Which if you haven’t already noticed my diet is pretty shitty. But I really have no idea if that is a good diet or not. Because I don’t know jack shit about proper nutrition. All I know is the first rule of weight loss. Which is, burn more calories than you consume, and you’ll lose weight. It’s just that simple, well in theory anyway.

Every evening I’ll be updating the work out log at that web site. It will automatically update the info in that widget. It’s some kind of crazy internet voodoo that gets the info to update, so don’t ask me how it does it.

I’ll be updating the diet widget 3 times a day.

I’m open to any nutrition and workout ideas you have, leave them in the comments or email me via the contact button up top.

You can see the whole log that I actually started on Monday. Roll you mouse over the information on each date and you can see more information about each work out. There is a lot more information that I can put in to each work out that I didn’t keep track or during Tuesday workout, like max heart rate, average heart rate and stuff like that, but I’ll get it more and more detailed in the coming workouts.

You an see my outdoor running routes on the left side under “routes”. You can see the weekly summary on the right side of the log. I think you can even leave comments there but I haven’t figured that out yet.

There is a lot of stuff that I can put into it that I havent gotten in to yet. so check back once a week or when ever to see what’s up.

If you want to follow the log with out having to come here evey time click here and you’ll be taken strait to the log and then you can save it with a bookmark.

The good news from to day is tht my feet were not an issue.

I had to take off all of last week from running because my plantar fasciitis has come back. But not as severe as last October but still hurts. I have inserts for my running shoes but not for my dress shoes for work, or my yard work shoes.

So Friday I came up with the bright idea to take the inserts (they are just over the counter inserts not those $400-500 custom ones that are molded to your foot) out of my running shoes and start to move them to whatever shoes I was planing on wearing. Wether it’s my dress shoes or sandals for yard work, or boots for ass-kickin!!

That was seriously one of the best idea’s I’ve ever had, I’m not even kidding, it was fucking genius. By the time Sunday rode around my feet weren’t hurting one bit. It was quite amazing. This is really the first time I can walk without at least some form of pain or discomfort in a long time.

Anyway, I’m back to running or at least working out after that week off. I changed my route, I’m not running down to Mill Creek Park any more. I’m staying the HELL out of Missouri! The new route is from 43rd and Rainbow south on Rainbow to Shawnee Mission Parkway then West, I turn right at the first light which is Belinder and head back north (where the sidewalk is on only one side of the street and its right on the street with no grass buffer between the sidewalk and the street) on Belinder to 47th street (County Line Road) East back to Rainbow, then back north to 43rd street. It’s a short route but its a start. The routes will get longer and longer, and more difficult.

Tomorrow, Tuesday, is my first weigh in, I bet I put on a pound or more. I will also be putting up a training log/widget so that you can all keep me honest. Some of you more experienced runners can maybe give me some pointers or whatnot. The web site that it comes from is pretty cool and I/ you can do a lot of stuff too customize it. But more on that tomorrow.

I won’t be running everyday, but I do plan to at least do some cardio (running, elliptical, swimming,) 6 days a week, along with weight training. I don’t have a rock solid training regiment it’ll sort of float until I find a good combination of weights and cardio. The widget will be updated every evening after the workout, but it won’t show up in your RSS reader, so you’ll just have to check it every couple of days or whatever, if your that interested and who the hell wouldn’t be interested right? I mean co’mon?

I also need to get a new watch, my Ironman from last year busted.

That’s it for this update. I’ll get skinny eventually if it kills me. Check y’all on the flip side.

Y’all be Kewl!

Meesha and Nightmare were sitting outside a clinic. Nightmare was crying very loudly.

Meesha: Why are you crying?

Nightmare: I came here for a blood test.

Meesha: So? Are you afraid?

Nightmare: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

At this, Meesha started crying profusely.

Nightmare was astonished.

Nightmare: Why are you crying now?

Meesha: I came for a urine test!

*******************************************************

A Brunette (Jessi), a Redhead (Heather), and a Blonde (Shea) escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump into.

The firemen yell to Jessi, “Jump! Jump! It’s your only chance to survive!”

Jessi jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. Jessi slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.

“C’mon! Jump! You gotta jump!’ say the firemen to Heather.

“Oh no! You’re gonna pull the blanket away!” says Heather.

“No! It’s Jessi’s we can’t stand! We’re OK with Heathers!”

“OK” says Heather, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.

Finally, Shea steps to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yell “Jump! You have to jump!”

“No way! You’re just gonna pull the blanket away!” yelled Shea.

“No! Really! You have to jump! We won’t pull the blanket away!”

“Look,” Shea says, “nothing you say is gonna convince me that you’re not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it…”

Monday night, after the meeting with the Cool Kids, where we discussed our plans for taking over the local media and politics in K.C. (There’s a lot to plan out for world domination, yo.

Anyway, I get home and low and behold I FINALLY got my stimulus, (stimuli?) check, a whole 600 clams. I was really surprised they didn’t deduct and FICA or SS from it. Now, I just have to figure out what to do with it. Back in May when I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE FUCKING THING!! I had plenty of stuff that I would have done with the money. But now I’m more inclined to put into my saving instead of spending it on random stuff.

But then again maybe I’ll just blow it on one of these:

Here are the top 10 things that I might do with my stimulus (stimuli?) check.

10. Get the EVAP system on my car fixed.

9. Four brand spankin’ new snow tires. With white walls of course!.

8. Get the outside of the house painted. I’m thinking camouflage, so no one will ever find it. Because I’m a master of the Camo and Flage.

7. Redo the bathroom. So I don’t have to clean it. (like I clean it now any way.)

6. Take the whole check to one of them gamblin’ boats they have on the river and bet it all on BLACK!

5. Buy a gun and steal other people’s stimulus (stimuli?) checks and take those to the boats and bet it all on RED!

4. Send it all into the credit card companies, to pay some of that balance down.

3. Devise a plan to get back at those neighborhood kids who put shit in a bag and lit it on fire on my porch while I was under house arrest for punching my Spanish teacher, after he asked me “How my father would feel if I failed Spanish” unknowing that my father was killed in a car accident while I was driving. After, I uncover a serial killer living next door to me, while I watch the other neighbors from inside my house while on house arrest for the summer. But after I bump ugliest with the new hottie that just moved in next door. Oh yea, I also saved my mother from the serial killer. Wait a tick… That sounds a lot like the movie Disturbia… Skip it, it sucks.

2. Request a meeting with Fuck-Face Funkhouser and convince him that there are more important issues than those stupid-ass steel plates on the road. Like the fact that there is no bus stop, where I thought there was a bus stop, which I waited for over an hour for the bus before I realized I was not at a FUCKING bus stop!! And that there is no bus that runs from 43^rd and Stateline Road all the way down Stateline Road to 435 which is about where I want to get to for my employment. Hold on, this one wouldn’t cost me any thing.

2. New clothes that fit me or that at least don’t look old.

And the # 1 thing I should spend my Tax stimulus (stimuli?) check on…

1. Hookers and crack, what else!

There is a link in this post that scared the everliving shit out out of me. When I saw it I almost passed out.